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I looked down at the list of questions that I had to ask the two
of them. But I couldn't resist. I could already tell that these two were totally
dedicated, motivated, successful people. I had to ask them what was it that
drove them to compete. What was the motivation to actually spend a portion of
their life, totally focussed upon loosing large proportions of fat and hardening
muscle to stand on a stage in a pair of tiny shorts and be judged really
critically, usually by a panel of old people that were often in bad shape
themselves.
Julie was very forthright. It became apparent that she knew
subconsciously why she wanted to do this sport. She wanted to push herself in a
structured and measurable way. She wanted to succeed and reward herself for
succeeding - in turn boosting her self confidence and belief in herself. Julie
wants to strive to be healthy and young and in turn competing in such a manner
gives her the powerful motivation needed to push herself - to stay in top
physical shape. While speaking with Julie I found her attitude toward the sport
and training/dieting very positive. Julie sets straight forward small goals and
achieves them. Upon achieving them she rewards herself, thus boosting her
motivation. The whole training and dieting is a focus and a goal but it is never
the be-all and end-all of her life. It is a solid structured method to build her
life and daily foundations upon yet is never the ultimate priority at the
sacrifice of other things Although Julie did confess that if perhaps it was,
then she would be a better bodybuilder.
Speaking to Peter I found an entirely different story. Peter is
driven by deep inner needs. For his entire life he has been fat. He hates it and
doesn't want to be fat, and without the drive of bodybuilding, he believes he
would still be fat. One thing that he did say is that he never wants to be wishy
washy at anything. Anybody can do that. He never wants to be middle of the road.
He wants to succeed. To win. He wants to prove to himself and to others that he
can do it. He almost thrives off the need to punish himself in the gym and with
his diet. Peter has an over riding personality of inner negativity that drives
him on. He is dissatisfied by what he would be if he were not competing. He does
not want to be fat. And the diet is long and hard. The training brutal.
Peter diets for 22 weeks. He comes down from around 17stone, as
opposed to Julie's 9st 12lbs. He competes at around 13st. She at 9st. There is a
world of a difference. In fact Peter is riddled with terrible training injuries
and scars from his brutal efforts. One of the thing he tells me, in a sincere
voice for a change, is that nobody works as hard as he does to get in shape.
People may beat him. People may be in better condition. But nobody has worked as
hard as he has to get into that shape. And I believe that half of the battle is
in his own head. As Peter is very negative toward himself, almost mentally
bullying, beating himself up. He goes through near torture, both physically and
mentally through the whole time.
Desperate to get in great shape, Peter knows that without the
drive and motivation he would never have the physique he is truly capable of. He
has trained much of his life and knows that he has built a good strong muscular
physique. But having muscle is not the same as having a physique of greater,
better quality than the majority of people that settle for mediocre results. And
Peter is very much a winner. He likes to succeed. He likes to be good at
something. And after his first ever competition he found that he was indeed,
very good at bodybuilding. This is what drives the man through the madness.
For Julie dieting to get in shape is no hard task really. Yes,
it requires elements of concentration and unwavering commitment to a healthy
lifestyle, but she normally eats clean year round and so merely needs to drop
her calories a little. Julie diets by dropping her carbs slowly and steadily
when her weight starts to stabilise. In the first place she doesn't eat many
carbs, but by the end she is on less than 100grams. Her diet is low in fat
anyway and she always performs cardiovascular training year round. This of
course increases towards the end of the diet to every day.
Peter actually eats what he wants off season. He tends to eat
all the quality protein that he can get his hands on and then tops up the rest
of the day with whatever else he fancies. For some this is insane. But for
Peter, who diets for 4 - 5 months every year - this is sanity. Its the only way
for him to be able to do what he does. Although he knows, that if he were to eat
clean, then he would not have to diet and struggle as hard when he is training
for competition. This is an amazing phenomena and one most of us know all to
well. The general strains of dieting are enough to make you balloon straight up
after a diet and keep eating fisha nd chips for months.
So the regime starts around 22 weeks out. The cardio begins. The
hard training. The drugs. The turkey at nearly every meal. Peter knows it all
too well. To the point where he has been caught crying, with real tears, at just
the smell of chocolate, knowing that he cant let himself have any. Wanting to
punch the lights out of the fat kid on the treadmill next to him, every morning
for twenty two long weeks. Looking in the mirror and spotting what may be the
hint of fat and becoming totally and utterly obsessed with shedding it. Peter
has a critical and judgemental eye of his own body and knows just how hard he
can be on himself. And hard is probably not an accurate word to describe the
pressure that Peter places on himself.
Peter slowly drops his carbs and increases his CV. Morning and
nightime aerobics. Walking around Liverpool town for an hour a lunch time.
Knowing the only thing that is going to get him through that walk is the taste
of a Chemical Pro Peptide Chocolate protein shake instead of more plain dry
turkey breast. Training in the gym four or five days per week. Eating turkey in
the car park, having struggled to climb the flight of stairs. Snapping peoples
heads off with a short temper. Every minute. Every waking thought. Every
nightmare. Every second. Non stop. Never ending. Bodybuilding. Competition.
Diet. Training. Peter is all consumed with this entity. He becomes the servant
and slave of bodybuilding. He is totally consumed. Bodybuilding becomes his
life. He admitted to me he has broken down at home, in tears at the thought of
what he is putting himself through. Why does he do it? Why torture yourself? To
be honest Peter could not give me a straight, feasible answer. Although he was
sure that the deep driving motivation was well worth it and the rewards for
achieving make it more than OK. It is most definitely something that he can look
back on. And Peter admitted, that with his personality the way it is, then if it
was not bodybuilding, then it probably would be something else.
Maybe the two different motivation style of these athletes that
live and train together is what makes them a very good successful team. Perhaps
that is why they compete at the same times, and travel the bizarre journey
together.
So I sat there fascinated by these two very good team players,
that were both nearly as bewildered as me on surface level, as to why they
actually did what they did. This left me with the feeling that there was some
deep driving emotional drive that pushed them to compete. That pushed them to
the extremes. Either that or they were totally crazy. I didn't think they were
crazy. I think that the hardship that they put themselves through made them much
stronger individuals at the end of it. I had to ask a little more about the
sacrifices that had been made to get into such unbelievably great shape.
Luckily Julie has not gone through any great trauma to get in
shape and compete. Peter on the other hand is like a wounded soldier. This year
he actually compete lighter than he did last year. It was his injuries that had
held him back. To such an extent he does not know whether he will be competing
this year - not until a time that he knows he can come back from his terrible
injuries and actually be his very best. I get the impression that the
competitions have been taking there toll and he just needs a break. I definitely
believe that this is not the last we will see of this young athlete.
A number of years ago Peter badly damaged his back. He now
suffers knee and hip joint pain. And a couple of years ago Peter tore his left
pectoral muscle right off of his chest. There is now a huge hole in his pec
where the injury has healed as best as it can. The injury was horrific. The pec
was completely off. Training was not possible for a long time. And now the pain
is always with him. The other pec trying to over compensate. The shoulders
working too hard to back this up. Peter is feeling it now. He knows that if he
doesn't take it easy he will just as easily tear the opposing pectoral made weak
due to it compensating for the already injured one. This is a terrible shame.
I think one of the things that has put Peter off competing this
year is some of the comments made by judges. They have said that if it wasn't
for his pectoral injury then he would have placed first and not second. This is
not good. Its definitely like rubbing salt into a wound. If they had said he had
weak calves, then fair enough. One can go back and train and come back next year
after doing something about it. The pectoral injury cannot be adjusted or
changed. It is just how it is. And the training suffers accordingly. The weights
are not as heavy as they once were and the exercises limited. But Peter still
has that glinting burning twinkle of desire to win in his eyes.
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